Dating

I'm dating again!!! This dating lark always brings me many giggles and these two dates don't fail to raise a smile or two.
Somehow I managed to bag two dates on the same day (only I could manage that!!). I worked it so I met one at lunchtime and then the second that same evening, clever eh?
Date number one, I met in a pub just after lunch to avoid the whole 'lunch date' issue. I managed to arrive first but that had more to do with the fact that he got stuck in traffic rather than me being keen. I got comfy with a drink and then in walked Paddington. I'm calling him Paddington as he was wearing a Paddington duffle coat and had golden coloured hair so therefore looked much like Paddington. Paddington got a drink and then sat across the table from me, then he talked, and talked and then he talked some more. To this day I haven't a clue what half of the topics were that he talked about as I switched off fair early on into the date.
It's safe to say physical attraction was at an absolute zero and the parts of what he did talk about (that I heard) he could very easily age me from a young minded 40 to an old minded 40 plus. He ticked off nothing on my list for which I want from Mr.Right. Don't ask me how but I managed to escape and make my way home after just one drink. This hour of my life felt like a week!! Later that day Paddington text me asking what I thought of him. Now, I'm not sure what he wanted, a review, marks out of 10 or a 5 star reward but there was no use prolonging the agony so I never replied.

Date two, I met at a pub not far from my home but far enough that I had to drive. I'm not sure how it happened but this guy seem to appear from behind me & sneak up on me (this should of been a warning to run at this point). This guy I shall call just simply 'Mr Weird'. After getting drinks from the bar we sat down & Mr Weird basically became weird. He told me he didn't drink as it just meant he got into a fight and as he had a gun he'd lose his gun license. Weird, scary, call it what you like but any 'normal' person just wouldn't fight!
The weirdness continued when during uncomfortable silences instead of asking me interesting questions about myself Mr Weird would simply just ask me if I felt uncomfortable yet. Yes, Mr. Weird you did make me feel uncomfortable!!
Mr.weird was not dressed to impress either, wearing jeans, sweatshirt & trainers, not a look for a nice pub on a Saturday night. Mr Weird also went on a mini rant about women wearing make up. People who know me are aware that I don't plaster it on and keep my make up neutral so where this rant came from I'll never know. He never grasped my counter argument of wanting to look nice, presentable and make the best of myself.
Your probably wondering how I escaped Mr weird. I'm now going to give you a 'get out' plan to beat all 'get out' plans. Liverpool had had a good win that day so therefore watching Match Of The Day had a purpose and was actually watchable!! The pub had no 3G signal for me to set my sky+ from my phone. So, yep, my 'get out of the date plan' was me saying that I just HAD to get home to watch match of the day. Thank you LFC & Gary Linekar!!!