Sunday 14 October 2012

The one that got away.

This is actually a hard blog to write as it involves someone I've still got strong feelings for but oh, how I wish I hadn't.

Have you ever met someone & felt a real strong connection to that person? I have. The problem as I found out later & after I'd fallen for him, his married with children. But I still want him because of that connection. However, the connection I speak of is pure sexual & nothing more than that (I don't think). Either way, I do feel that he is the one I let get away :-(
I've said before that I'm no angel and here it is laid bare (excuse the pun) I would happily meet with him every few months purely just to spend time with him & have sex. The sex I just know, sense even, would be electric & just what I need.
Here's the next problem since his second child came along we don't talk. Maybe he is just trying to do the right thing by his wife & family, maybe he can also sense that connection between us & avoidance is easier, maybe he just isn't interested, who knows.
I don't love him (I don't think) but I do have a mad desire for him that burns deep inside me. I miss talking to him even though I know he has told me many lies in the past.
So what do I do? I can't make the guy talk to me but I would like that opportunity. I need to know the reason for his silence. He used to tell me he thought about me all the time but was that a lie too? I really don't know and I would love to ask him. I would love to meet him again even if it was just for lunch and a drink.
He is the one guy that I feel has got away and I want that raw passion with him or do I just want what I know I can't have?

1 comment:

  1. He was a psychopath and that's why you felt the connection - they mirror back to you your own desires, thoughts, feelings. They *appear* to be perfect so that you disregard any misgivings you had. Just remember, every conversation you have, every time he opened his mouth, he was lying. He was playing with you because he could, for fun. And you know I know of what I speak! He doesn't contact you now because he'll be getting his 'supply' elsewhere - and that is a compliment to you - it meant you weren't dancing to his tune any more. And the sex may have been electric - but only because of you and what would have been going on in your head. He would just be using you like he would a soapy cloth. I've been there - and once the spell is broken, so is the 'connection' and the sex is horrible. If I've learned nothing else, it's that if you cannot trust what comes out of a person's mouth, it's not worth wasting time on them. And with men who blow hot and cold, if they are blowing hot, it's only a matter of time before they blow cold again. And finally - don't do casual sex with someone you have strong feelings for. Save it for unsuitable boys! :-)

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